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Greek Life is always a target based on their hazing. Anyone in Greek Life, and the field of Psychology, know that the harder you work for something, the more pride and loyalty you have. I am not condoning hazing events that result in a pledge being rushed to the emergency room, but I do not agree with signing a bid and being handed letters. I worked for my position within my sorority. Without going into detail, I worked very hard without being humiliated and degraded. Of course, any more said, and I would be breaking the secrecy code.

Anyway, recently there has been a number of groups on the SUNY Albany campus trying to become recognized on campus Greek organizations. I have no problem with those who want to become a leader. My sorority was created on the foundation of wanting more diversity and something different than what other organizations were offering. God bless those who want to become a leader. Hell, it looks great on a resume, as claims a founder of the new on campus Alpha Epsilon Pi. He recognizes that he pulled the same move as another on campus fraternity, but he also admitted to wanting it for his resume. And in this day and age, anything to make you stand out for the job is important. This, I do not have a problem with. My issue is manifested within the people who take the easy way out.

It has leaked to Facebook that a group of girls were trying to start their own sorority. This would be Kappa Delta. Normally, I would not care; Greek Life at UAlbany should be taken more seriously, as well as recieve support for the school (which at this point, the school seems to want us all gone). I did not have an issue until I looked into the members of this Facebook group. What did I find? Numerous girls who dropped other Greek Organizations.

One girl received a bid from my sorority. I was not sore when she said she could not pledge for personal family reasons. The sorority truly liked her as a person and we were sad, yet understanding, when she did not pledge. I took it personally when I saw her in that group. I guess an already organized sorority was not good enough.

Two girls started pledging a different sorority. To be honest, I do not dislike girls for wearing different letters than me. I care about the person, not the letters. One of my closest friends is in a different sorority- the one the two girls dropped. The first one to drop lied. She said she could not balance her work load. We all know that the school mandates at leastthree hours of library time a day for at least five days. The true reason she dropped was because she wanted to drink and see boys. Listen, Greek life is not for everyone. We get it. But don’t bullshit us.

Seeing these two girls in the group made me laugh. Why? Because they could not handle pledging a sorority, so they are taking the easy way out and trying to become one that is just forming as to avoid a pledge process. The problem is that people in my generation do not want to work for anything. They want to be handed awards, status, money, etc. I was absolutely guilty of this until I pledged my sophomore semester. That was the first time I had ever worked for something in my life. I proved it to myself that I was capable of being more than a spoiled little brat that mommy and daddy gave everything to do. Since then, I have grown into an adult; I have found different jobs so I did not have to ask my parents for money; I have pulled myself together in order to find a path for my future that did not rely on moving back in with my parents. I know I can take on anything and work my ass off for what I know I deserve. These girls, as well as many in my generation, do not want to work for it. You aren’t given good grades, you earn them, right? It is the same with everything else in life. This “easy way out” is a mockery of the work Greeks put in to be part of a family.

The big issue is when fraternities let in dropped sorority pledges, it makes a mockery out of Greeks because it gives these girls the “okay” for dropping. No, it is not jealous. I would love if Greek Life was expanded for the right reasons.Why is that a problem? It ruins the exclusive aspect of Greek Life that we all have worked so hard. If the roles were switched, the fraternity members would be livid finding out that a sorority was welcoming in someone who rejected them. So, for all the fraternities who plan to mix with this new Kappa Delta, keep in mind, you’re mocking all the hard work you put in to be part of your organization.

I do not care who parties with who. I’ll party with everyone; Greeks, Sports teams, Independents, whoever. But a sorority or fraternity made up of dropped pledges is, in the kindest way possible, a joke. I hope it works out for them because I know there are a lot of girls who will neverrespect them. Why? Because they wanted to take the easy way out. I did not get humiliated, but I worked hard.

Why did they choose Kappa Delta? Was this the first organization that popped up on google? Or did they actually study the Greek alphabet long enough to choose letters that had meaning? Good luck girls. I truly hope it works out for you in Greek LIfe because in the real world, “good things” aren’t handed to you. You have to work for what you want and if you cannot work for something as silly as letters, what can you work for? Try not to end up in your mothers basement.

*I have no intention of outing the girl who dropped to get drunk and see boys, please understand she was called out for trying to have a sleep over with a guy that a sister was seeing and wanted to keep seeing him. She chose a boy over sisterhood. Her status, five minutes after the post was, “Might as well write a whole book about us while you’re at it ;) #famous.”  You are not famous. You will never be famous because those who want fame, have to work for it. Even murders have to work hard to be famous.

A message I received 10 minutes after posting this:
Thank you from one real greek life member to another for writing your tumblr post, the same thing happened on my campus and I share the same feelings. Those people don’t understand what it means to wear letters proudly and ruin it for everyone else by trying to be something they clearly aren’t (but wish they were). I cherish the time I spent working hard for what I wanted and even though my sorority was forced to be a nationally recognized organization, I pledged local and I wear those colors and I’m so glad that you got to experience the same thing.

-Kerryn W.

I am highly disgusted by 3 separate instances of injustice.

1. The public’s reaction to Rue being a black girl. I did not read the book, but apparently it describes her as having dark skin. When I watched The Hunger Games, my heart broke for that beautiful little girl. I cannot figure out why there was such an uproar. For those with the audacity to post such cruel and racist remarks, remember that what you write is forever on the internet. Just because it is a private account, it is being posted on a public domain. Those included in the Jezebel article will forever be marked as a horrible, intolerant, ignorant or racist (if not all the above). I hope that they are happy with their wonderfulcough cough sarcasmcomments.

2.”I believe that families can benefit from going back to traditional roles of men and women… I’d like to be the ideal wife and make home cooked meals.” There may or may not be a bit of paraphrasing in there because I could not rewind to get the exact quote. But this is a woman living in the 21st century on wife swap. I am not a feminist but I have feminist ideas. I also believe in equality. In this specific episode (Fuentes/Lawson 2005), the two women who switch have polar opposite life styles; yes this is typical, but I find their life styles difficult to digest. One of the wives is completely submissive while the other is completely dominant. I believe in equal. I am controlling but that stems from my anxiety for things going wrong. When it comes to real decisions, they are made with my partner and I (whoever he may be). The submissive woman goes against my feminist ideas based on the absolute submission: she does not own a car, she polishes his finger nails and she has no say in any decisions made. This woman also believes in marriage, heavily. The dominant woman is pampered and fed breakfast in bed while not believing in marriage to show commitment. Their life styles are their own decisions and I hold no judgement however, it pains me to see these woman feeding into such stereotypes. It is the over submissive woman who has no life beyond her husband or the feminist “bra-burning” stereotype that she believes in being better than men rather than equal.

3. My previous post about Greek Life. I received a lot of positive feedback which makes me feel less alone. Fantastic. =)!

My Name is Taylor. I pledged for a social sorority in my sophomore year, spring semester. I crossed April 8th, 2010. It was the best decision of my life. It made me a strong person and allowed me to find what I really wanted out of my college career. This is why I take a serious offense to those who place a stereotype on me for wearing my letters.

Greek life is not for everyone. This is understood by everyone in Greek life. We understand that not everyone has the time, patience or stamina for it. Its the same concept of college not being for everyone or someones preference on music; everyone is different. Those in Greek life do not judge you for your decision not to be part of it, so why do you judge us?

There are certain stigmas attached to those who join Greek life. One being that I pay for my friends. My dues, that I pay each semester, go towards decorations, alumni events, rush, t-shirts, sister activities and, yes, alcohol. It does not pay to keep my friends. It pays for my sisters and I to sit, watch movies and snack on food. It has paid for pumpkins for pumpkin carving and could even pay for snow tubing or spa days. It pays for baskets that some sisters cannot afford to make their little sisters during the pledge process. It pays for a weekend dedicated to the sisters who have graduated and would like to visit. It does not pay the girls to remain my friends.

Another stereotype is that we are all stupid, mindless, college degenerates. To be in Greek Life, a certain GPA must be maintained. At the University at Albany, that GPA is a 2.5. Many of those not in Greek Life have GPAs below that while those in Greek life maintain a 2.5, if not higher. We are not degenerates because, as a chapter, we must complete community service as well as raise money for a designated Philanthropy. While in my sorority, I have helped the homeless, cared for baby kittens, and participated in running a Blood Drive. I have raised awareness and money for the American Heart Association, as well, which is my sorority’s philanthropy. I attend all of my classes, pass my exams and write at least 2-3 papers a week. My major GPA is a 3.8. So, where in all this information am I a degenerate?

Yes, I drink. I have illegally drank since the young age of 15. I have participated in drinking games and paint parties. I have dressed in a toga and have worn skimpy dresses to a Thursday night “banger.” I am not less of a person for taking part in these activities. And if anyone dares criticize me for my drinking habits because of my sorority, you are severely mistaken. I mentioned, I have been drinking for a lot longer than I have been in college. My sorority had no effect on these habits. I have also been to non-Greek life parties and they drink just as much, if not more, than those in Greek Life. Where is the difference? At my mixers, I am surrounded by people I know and who know me. I am surrounded by people who will not take advantage of my inebriated state. I have seen plenty of Fraternity (and yes, some underground organizations are included) help girls home and into bed to ensure their safety. At a non-Greek life party, I have seen guys try to take girls clothes off while they are on the couch and the problem is that I do not know these people. Strangers walk into these parties and some have the ill intentions of sleeping with a girl who is not conscious enough to give consent.

With that said, not every Fraternity guy is a saint and not every non-Greek guy is a devil. You cannot lump a group with the actions of certain people regardless of the saying “one bad apple spoils the bunch.” I have read countless articles about Greek life Hazing. I understand the dangers in forcing pledges to drink alcohol. But please do not think that is all we do. According to the University at Albany, carrying a book with sorority or fraternity information is considered hazing (this was stated during Greek Convocation for Spring 2010). Does this mean that my notebooks for my college classes is considered hazing? All the book holds is really just the history of how we started and what positions we have held in the sorority, as well as lineages, pledge classes and random facts. The information in it is similar to something we’d learn in a pshycology class; the history of where something came from. Otherwise, my notes on Frued would have to be thrown out, right?

I went to Cancun for spring break. Big deal. Do not crucify me for taking part in a trip just because it included alcohol. I met someone in a Fraternity from the the Midwest. He had told me a story about how his chapter was about to lose their charter due to an incident where the pledge died from an act of hazing on the way to the hospital but was revived. There is no excuse for this; I absolutely agree. I kindly told him that his chapter should lose their charter. However, we are not all like that. I was never forced to drink alcohol. Regardless that the school has a “dry pledge program,” no one forced me to consume large amounts of alcohol until I was sick.

What did I do? I ran errands. I made projects. I got yelled at for stupid things. I parked cars. I sang songs. I interviewed sisters. No, sisters were not always nice. They shouldn’t be. A psychology class taught me that the harder someone works for something, the more pride and respect they have. So no, my sorority does not walk right into a set of beautifully embroidered letters. I worked for it. I earned those letters. And what did it teach me? First of all, time management and respect. I also know that I will be fully prepared to handle anything an internship throws at me. Think Anne Hathaway in “The Devil Wears Prada.” She was a “pledge.” She never regretted it and it made it so she could handle anything life threw at her. The sorority has also given me other skills that will help in my future; by taking part in positions like Rush Chair and Assistant New Member Educator, I have learned how to handle responsibility and plan events. I have proven I can take on leadership roles and can handle stress. I became a stronger person during pledging- and that does not mean a “cold and heartless” person. I am still empathetic, sympathetic, and loving.

There is also a stigma behind “underground” fraternities and sororities. Yes, some fraternities and sororities do things that aren’t the smartest “rituals.” But that does not make them bad people. A flier was given out to those pledging on campus fraternities and sororities today. This flier ignited my emotional response against those with a poor stereotype against Greek Life. The flier states:
“Underground “fraternities and sororities” are known for their out of control parties downtown and their horrific hazing incidences. These “organizations” are not recognized by the University and are not monitored by their nationals because their charters no longer exists. Many of the fraternities and sororities that are recognized by the university  often hold mixers with these undergrounds and post photos of their escapes on Facebook. Recently the campus newspaper runs an article about Greek hazing and alcohol abuse and cites many of the underground “organizations” offences. It criticizes the entire Greek system and questions the value of all Greek Organizations.”
(This is as published. Spelling and grammatical errors in this passage were not made by me but by the University.)

My apologies, University at Albany, but I can cite numerous houses that have residents with non-Greek Life that have “out of control” parties. And these “Hazing Incidents” do not define all of us considering a pledge book and sleep deprivation are considered “hazing.” I hope that everyone realizes many students are sleep deprived due to their exam schedule and class/work load. So am I, as a student, being hazed by the University? Pledges are not forced to stay awake. Students are not forced to stay awake. But we do as to complete all the duties of a student/pledge. The flier goes on to ask if this is an accurate perception and how we could make Greek Life more positive. How can we? If those who read articles about hazing incidents can stop assuming that everyone with a set of letters acts like this, maybe then we could promote a positive image. Because doing at least 15 house of community service and keeping a high GPA is not good enough. I did not join Greek life to revamp someone else’s perception. I did it to take part in a sisterhood and the Albany community but this flier is showing that this is not good enough. I need to be more proactive in other people’s positive views on myself as well as my organization.

I would like to mention that an Underground Fraternity or Sorority is not held to the same standards as those recognized by campus. They do not have to meet the GPA, community service and philanthropy requirements. However, with that said, I know plenty of people in underground organizations who maintain grades that are good enough to get into top medical, veterinary and law schools. Some have joined business or community service fraternities that are recognized by campus. And yes, some of them do not have the GPA to be part of an on campus organization, but this fact does not account for those who do work hard and spend countless hours in the library studying that still cannot get the high grades they want. I know some brilliant people who did not do well in school. Sometimes grades do not account for brilliance and grades cannot measure effort.

Early this semester in my Personality Psychology class, my professor made her views on Greek Life very clear. She expressed that we are all stupid alcoholics (of course in other terms, but with the example she gave, this was the conclusion). The next class, I wore my letters with pride. It is acceptable for a professor to state her distaste for Greek life, but it would have been a disaster had she said “Homosexuals are sinful” or “Jews are worthless penny pinchers.” So why is it okay for her to tell a class of over 100 students that she does not like those in Greek Life? Shame on society.

My pledge sister told me a story today, after reading this flier, about how while talking to a guy, he made a sexual advance towards her. She immediately stopped him and he was in shock. Why? He claimed that no girl had ever told him no and since she is in a sorority, she should be easy. In this day and age, with as many rights as women have, we still find ourselves stuck in a “slut” stigma if we have sex with more than one person. I am not a woman of loose morals but I am not a “pure virigin.” Society expects women to be virgins while allowing men to have sex with as many women as they want; how are men supposed to live up to the standards society has set for them while women are supposed to live up to theirs? Is there supposed to be a group of impure women for men to have sex with? Are those women never allowed to marry? I really do not understand it. I am not suggesting for men to have less sex or for women to have more. I am simply saying, let people love and sleep with whoever they please. It is 2012. Sex is no longer taboo. Sex should mean something but no one should be criticized a choice they are making regarding their own body. Maybe the men of the past just wanted to get their practice in and if they weren’t good, their virgin wife would never know. Who knows! A girl wearing letters is automatically labeled as a slut while a guy wearing letters is labeled as an asshole. Some guys are assholes. Some girls sleep with more men than others. It happens. Everyone is different.

We are not all the same. It is unfair of us to be discriminated against because of a life deicision. I have been discriminated against for being a Jew and a woman. I was once made to feel ashamed of my religion because three middle school classmates threw pennies at me. I made a promise to myselftoneverfeel ashamed for being a Jew and I will neverfeel ashamed of making the decision to join Greek Life. They always say, “Do Not Judge a Book By It’s Cover.” Well then, Don’t judge me by my letters.

i want this NOW

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radiculousness asked: Your supermarket confessions are hilarious. I've worked in a supermarket for the past 5 years (my first job ever that I somehow have never been able to leave), and while it has it's entertaining moments, it fucking sucks. I'm a manager though, so I have my own set of issues and problems while working. This is Rachel Desnoyers, btw, I saw your tumblr posts on Facebook and needed to check them out. Hope everythings going well! :)

ahahahaha i’m glad you appreciate my daily agony and i know you understand. i remember you telling me about them freshman or sophomore year… i hope all is well for you! miss you xo

typical-love:

“You have stripped me of my rights, but I still get more pussy than you.” 

Best one, lmao.

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